ELEVEN THINGS I HAVE LEARNED FROM
LIVING WITH HIV FOR OVER 20 YEARS

by
Dennis de Leon

1. BE THE BEST INFORMED PERSON YOU KNOW ABOUT MEDICAL TREATMENTS. EVERY YEAR, DOUBLE YOUR KNOWLEDGE ABOUT THE DISEASE, HOW IT GROWS AND HOW IT CAN BE DEFEATED.

2. BE AGGRESSIVELY INVOLVED WITH CLINICAL TRIALS BECAUSE THEY OFFER THE REGULAR HEALTH MONITORING AND ACCESS TO NEW MEDICATIONS. DEVELOP THE ABILITY TO TELL WHEN YOU ARE GETTING A PLACEBO AND, IF YOU WANT, OPT OUT OF THE TRIAL.

3. LIVE LIKE YOU ARE GOING TO DIE TOMORROW. TRY THINGS YOU NEVER DREAMED OF AND STOP “RESUME BUILDING.” DO THINGS YOU ENJOY AND THAT PAY YOU SOMETHING FOR DOING IT. SO IF YOU DIE YOU WERE AT LEAST DOING WHAT YOU WANTED.

4. SEE THE BEAUTY OF THINGS AND PEOPLE AROUND YOU AND IF THEY DO NOT APPEAR BEAUTIFUL, WORK HARDER TO SEE THE BEAUTY IN THEM. WHY? BECAUSE BEAUTY CAN SUSTAIN YOU.

5. NEVER BECOME A “VICTIM” OR THE DESIGNATED PERSON WITH AIDS IN THE ROOM. YOU ARE MORE THAN THAT AND SHOULD NOT BE DEFINED BY A DISEASE. YOU ARE NOT A VIRUS SO DON’T ACT LIKE ONE.

6. MAKE YOUR FAMILY PROUD. MY WAY WAS TO GIVE THEM NEWS OF THINGS I ACCOMPLISHED, NEWS WITH MY NAME IN IT SO THEY CAN CIRCULATE THE WORD TO ALL THE EXTENDED FAMILY AND FRIENDS. GOD KNOWS I HAVE PUT THEM THROUGH GRIEF SO MUCH GROWING UP. THEY DESERVE AT LEAST A FEW BRAGGING POINTS. ALL THEY REALLY CARE ABOUT IS THAT YOU WERE VALUABLE AND VISIBLE TO OTHERS AND THAT IT REFLECTS WELL ON THEM.

7. DEVELOP AN ACTIVE SENSE OF OUTRAGE AND ENCOURAGE OTHERS TO DO SO. THIS IS SO CRITICAL. PEOPLE WILL THINK YOU ARE ASLEEP UNLESS YOU SHOUT BOO TO THE POWERS THAT BE AROUND YOU ONCE IN A WHILE. IF YOU ARE NOT OUTRAGED BY INJUSTICE THEY WILL BURY WITH INDIFFERENCE, BUREAUCRACY AND PITY BEFORE YOU ARE DEAD.

8. SPREAD LOVE WHERE EVER YOU GO. NO ONE LIKES YOU IF YOU ARE ANGRY OR REGRETFUL ALL THE TIME. KISS, HUG, REWARD, SURPRISE, AND DO ALL THESE AND MORE LOVING THINGS TO COMPLETE STRANGERS AND ACQUAINTANCES IN YOUR LIFE. FOR EXAMPLE, LOVE IS TO GET ON AN ELEVATOR AT THE FIRST FLOOR AND CONNECT WITH EVERYONE BEFORE YOU GET OFF AT YOUR FLOOR.

9. SEE THE CONNECTIONS. NEVER THINK YOU ARE THE ONLY ONE. YOUR NEW FAMILIES ARE PERSONS WHO BECAME INFECTED THROUGH DRUG USE, INDIGENT GAY MAN OR TRANSGENDERED PERSONS AND WOMEN WHO TRUSTED THEIR SEX PARTNERS. THE SHAME, PRIDE, PAIN, SCORN AND FIGHT FOR RESPECT OF ALL THESE GROUPS MUST BECOME YOURS BECAUSE YOU ARE PART OF THEIR WORLD.

10. DON’T FORGET SEX. IT FEELS GOOD AND CAN BE DONE SAFELY. DON’T STOP DOING IT EVEN WHEN YOU ARE LIVING WITH HIV/AIDS. IT’S AS MUCH A PART OF LIFE AS SPRING IS A SEASON.

11. IN ALL OF OUR STRUGGLES FOR FAIRNESS AND EQUALITY REMEMBER THIS: THERE ARE NO PERMANENT FRIENDS OR PERMANENT ENEMIES ONLY PEOPLE SHARING COMMON INTERESTS.

Via Regan's POZ Blog